Pink schmink.

So I’m not really all up on it, but I’m pretty sure Pink is one of those clothing labels like Juicy, that puts its name right there across a woman’s ass. Free advert and an invite to gawk and possibly comment.

I was just at Ralph’s picking up a few things and I kept running up behind somebody’s little sagging old grandmother wearing a sweatsuit with “Pink” emblazoned across her backside. She may have been given this thing by her grandchildren, who think she’s the hippest grandma ever. She may be thought of as “wild and crazy” by her neighbors at Golden Age Gardens. I don’t wanna be judgin’—but I don’t want to be invited to stare at somebody’s grandma’s ass...

I guess nobody would put “Dignity Schmignity” across their ass as an ironic gesture.